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Montag, Juni 01, 2009

Fake medical doctors in Taiwan



German below, Deutsch unten!


English:
Recently I have posted about false diagnoses I got here in Taiwan. Like going to hospital for tests, having a skin allergy and then the doc wants to make an operation on REALLY important parts. However, what he said he saw THERE did not match watch Google showed and confronting him about it made him kind of evasive. So I did not have this operation.

Somewhere I posted they discovered a lot of fake diplomas and university certificates in Taiwan (I will add link later), and now the Chinapost [LINK] (a Taiwan paper) tells about doctors in middle and South Taiwan being fake but knowingly hired by the hospitals to save money. Gulp. Well, I went to doctor in Taipei and the guy in questions was a department chief in a large military hospital (open to public however). If he was a real doctor, what's the difference to fake ones anyway?

Guess that doesn't really matter in Taiwan.

Mind your health when visiting the island!


Images: see, that's even a fake nurse! [not so scary like the fake doctors though]
Image from old days company server (she's actually a hostess at Computex fair]

German, Deutsch:

Reiseführer geben an, die medizinische Versorgung Taiwans sei im Wesentlichen wie die in Deutschland. Persönlich habe ich hier neben oft schmuddeligen Arztpraxen (schwarze, versiffte Wände und Blutflecken auf dem Boden sind beim Hautarzt besonders eklig, finde ich) himmelschreiend inkompetente Ärzte erlebt, unter anderem den Chef der Urologie in einem großen Militärkrankenhaus in Taipei. Nein, man muss nicht eine Sternenflottenuniform im Schrank haben, um es besuchen zu dürfen. Ich war nur für Tests da und hatte eine Rötung am ganzen Körper (einfach eine Lebensmittelallergie, nichts Schlimmes) und der Hell Doktor wollte mir an wirklich WICHTIGEN Teilen herumschnippeln, weil er dort glaubte, etwas zu sehen. Dr. med. Google widerlegte jedoch seine Diagnose (da war wirklich nichts!) und zur Rede gestellt wurde der Herr Überprofessor ganz kleinlaut.

Als neulich eine Fälscherwerkstatt ausgehoben wurde und auch mehrere akademische Grade aus der Medizin gefunden wurden, schwante mir schon Böses. Heute hat die Chinapost [LINK] einen Artikel, in dem (allerdings in Mittel- und Südtaiwan) diverse Ärzte in Krankenhäusern Hochstapler sind, die sogar mit Wissen der Klinikleitung eingestellt worden sind, um Kosten zu sparen. Na ja, fördert jedenfalls das Geschäft bei den Bestattungsunternehmern, diese Praxis.

Ludigels Taiwan-Überlebensregel: "Chinese mit Messer gehört in die Küche und nicht an Ludigel heran." Klingt rassistisch, aber politische Korrektheit kann man sich nicht leisten, wenn man in einem Land irgendwo in Weitwegnesien überleben will. Oder die Unversehrtheit WICHTIGER TEILE gewährleisten will.

Sehr gute Ärzte gibt es hier auch. Viel Spaß beim Rausfinden; besuchen Sie Taiwan.

Ludigel

Mittwoch, Mai 27, 2009

Famous restaurant!


German below, Deutsch unten!

English: What amazes me in Taiwan is, how easily restaurants are referred to as being "famous". Like I queued up with wife for a restaurant with famous sausages (actually the restaurant was one of the usual mom and pop shops) and then after waiting 90 minutes to be seated all I get is a sliced sausage, a little less sweet than the usual sausage in Taiwan (said to be Hong Kong style) and served with fresh garlic. Was nice, but waiting so long? And 200 NT for it?

Then we went to another famous restaurant, on the photo you can see (well you could if image were larger) all the TV stars of Taiwan (depicted in the photos in the frames on the right hand side in the image below) who ate there...

However, they have a very nice park and the restaurant looks nice. Food is the usual "steak without anything else" they serve in Taiwan (well, it had some seafood on the plate). No noodle, no potatoes and a tiny bit of bread only. Vegetables? I didn't find them although sometimes they put 3 grams of veggies and you swallow them by accident with the huge piece of meat.

Was OK though with starter soup (I hate fish soup) and alcohol free cocktail and .... desert. Wife negotiated double desert rounds in the end, so that was fine.

I didn't bother to find out where the place really is. Their park however gave me a good chance to try out this victory sign all Taiwanese make when they are being photographed...

No, wait, that's the hand gesture with which I explained to my arts teacher at school, why I am again 30 minutes late...

Wait ... I almost got it...

Actually the Chinese term "you3 yi4si1" (hope I have the tones right) can be translated as "have meaning", "be interesting" or "be famous", so people seem to be rather quick in branding something as "famous".



formosa blog: blog.teichert-online.de

other pages:
homepage: teichert-online.de
tech blog: techblog.teichert-online.de
blog overview in categories: globalforeigner.com
taiwan stray dog rescue: stray-dogs.org

German, Deutsch:

Es erstaunt mich immer wieder, wie schnell hier ein Restaurant für "berühmt" ("famous" sagen die Leute dann auf Englisch) erklärt wird. Die Lösung ist wohl darin zu suchen, dass sich der chinesische Begriff "you3 yi1si1" (ich hoffe die Tonzeichen in der lateinischen Umschrift richtig zu haben) sowohl als "Bedeutung haben" oder "interessant sein" oder auch "berühmt sein" übersetzen lässt. So ist eben alles schnell berühmt. Zuletzt war ich in einem Restaurant, dass einen schönen Park hatte, in dem ich auf den Fotos die typischen Handzeichen geübt habe, die Taiwanesen immer auf Bildern machen. Das Essen war nicht so ... berühmt, das war nur Steak mit ein bisschen Fisch auf dem Teller, ohne Gemüse und ohne Nudel oder Reis oder Kartoffel. So isst der Taiwanese Fleisch gern im Steakhaus. Manchmal ist mikroskopisch kleines Gemüse dabei. In Taiwan ist eben ALLES irgendwie anders als man erwartet.
Interessant (you3 yi4si1) ist das allemal.

Montag, Mai 25, 2009

Lotwein getrunken, tot!


Passend zu dem auf einer wahren Geschichte (in der Familie eines Kneipwirts, der seine Kascheme in der Nachbarschaft hatte) basierendem Gedicht (LINK) hatte das Fernsehen Taiwans heute während der Mittagspause eine interessante Meldung. Warnend wurde das Bild eines Mannes gezeigt, der auf einer Hochzeitsfeier ein Glas Rotwein trank. Meine Frau übersetzte sychron. Eine ganze Flasche Rotwein habe der Bräutigam getrunken und sei dann anschließend gestorben! Sie warnte mich sofort vor dem Trinken eines zweiten Cocktails (nicht heute in der Kantine sondern generell); von vielem Trinken stürbe man, habe ein Arzt erklärt.


Es gibt doch so viel interessantere Dinge als Alkohol... (Bild vom Firmsenserver alter Tage)

Ja gut, aber Entschuldigung. Eine Flasche Rotwein? Für einen Franzosen ist das eine kleine Erfrischung am Nachmittag und der Hans aus dem Gedicht oben hätte davon nicht mal ein schweres Augenlied bekommen (na ja gut, er hatte eigentlich sowieso zwei Karl-Dall-Augenlieder). Ich meine, wenn in Deutschland von tödlichen Trinkgelagen die Rede ist, dann haben die jungen Männer Vodka flaschenweise getrunken, aber in Taiwan reicht eben eine Flasche Rotwein zum reichhaltigen Hochzeitsessen als tödliche Dosis?

Erst dachte ich, vielleicht kommt er aus China (der Wein, nicht der Kerl) aber auf taiwanischen Hochzeiten reicht man eigentlich nur guten französichen Rotwein. Man darf natürlich nicht vergessen, dass die Herren hier manchmal nur 1.60 groß sind und 55kg wiegen, schmal und filigran sind mit Tallien wie ein magerer Schirmständer. Manche junge Männer erreichen mittlerweile auch europäische Dimensionen, aber viele sind doch ein bis zwei Klassen kleiner und leichter.

Trotzdem, eine Flache Wein nur? Wie hätte er dann die Ehe mit einer Taiwanesin überleben wollen, wenn ihn das schon umhaut?

....Wie ... was sagt meine Frau gerade.... er hat sich verschluckt beim Essen nach dem Weingenuss. Äh.... gut ...... wie auch immer [ich versuche das Bild eines quer im Mund steckenden Essstäbchens zu vertreiben].


formosa blog: blog.teichert-online.de

other pages:
homepage: teichert-online.de
tech blog: techblog.teichert-online.de
blog overview in categories: globalforeigner.com
taiwan stray dog rescue: stray-dogs.org

Ludigel says...

The German Spiegel maganzine is writing: "There is an Arabian sense of humor since 9/11" (Link: http://www.spiegel.de/kultur/gesellschaft/0,1518,625461,00.html)

LUDIGEL says: I thought 9/11 was Arabian humor.

Freitag, Mai 22, 2009

Mein Bekannter, der Hans

ENGLISH: There is always that guy in the neighbourhood who drinks a lot. This is a (German) poem about him.

GERMAN, DEUTSCH: Ein Gedicht über einen flüchtigen Bekannten, der ein paar Blocks weiter wohnte (bei Adolf E. Pankraz nebenan natürlich, nicht bei mir).


das hätte ihm auch geschmeckt...



Mein Bekannter, der Hans
Adolf E. Pankraz

Ich hatte einen Bekannten namens Hans,
Der war ein fröhlicher Mann,
Treffen konnte man ihn mittags immer unterm Schwanz***,
Rief laut klar, „seht her, wie ich trinken kann!“

Ich dachte, mit ihm sei alles klar.
Auch als er wurde bleich und wachsig.
Auch noch als seine Haut ganz steif und weißlich war.
Schließlich war er immer noch ganz flapsig.

Gut, vor ein paar Wochen,
Hat er nur noch steif herumgestanden,
Vielleicht auch streng gerochen,
Interessant auch, was die Ärzte an ihm alles fanden.

Er lag die nächste Woche lang,
Den ganzen Tag im Bett,
Sagte „ach ich fühle mich so krang“.
Sprach schon undeutlich, das war nicht nett.

Sein Vater hatte eine Kneipe aufgemacht,
Und der Sohn lag unterm Zapfhahn und trank mit Dampf,
Hat sich über zahlende Kunden nur kaputtgelacht,
Gegackert bis zum ersten Entzugskrampf.

Zu machen war da nichts mehr,
Vater schlug ihm die Flasche übern Schädel,
Geholfen hat es auch nichts mehr,
Geblutet hat er nur in Mutters Staubwedel.

Sorgen gemacht habe ich mir keine,
Dachte er lebt gut mit Saus und Braus,
So dachte ich lange Zeit,
Jedenfalls bis zur Beerdigung nebst Leichenschmaus.





Epilog

Heute liegt er gut erhalten im Sarg und grinst ganz hohl,
Würmer fressen ihn bestimmt keine,
Besteht sein Gewebe doch fast nur aus Äthanol,
Vom Kopf bis runter an die Säulenbeine.


*** Beliebter Treffpunkt in Hannover. „Unter dem Schwanz“ der Ernst-August-Statue auf dem Bahnhofsplatz. Oder ehemals beliebter. Liegen manchmal recht viele Flaschen rum...

View on Chinese Taipei

"Chinese Taipei" is the ugly name under which Taiwan has to take part in international events, because the "People's Republic of China" does not want Taiwan to use its name in any international conventions or organizations. It relates to Taiwan's capital Taipei, which is really an offshoot of China, as many people fleeing the communists in China in the year 1949 have settled down here. Unfortunately, with Taiwan's current president Ma, who is extremely pro-Chinese, the whole country will indeed become ...Chinese Taipei.


"101", formerly the highest house of the world, can be seen in the background. Photo of Taipei taken from my company's roof.

Background info: currently Taiwan (formally called "Republic of China") is a multi-party democracy with free speech and free elections, not being controlled from Peking. Current president Ma however is busy handing the independent island over to China.

Ma is taking the country on a hell ride towards fast union with China, seemingly stationing police officers from China in little democratic Taiwan is being planned, see HERE.

Taipei is in the North of Taiwan and below it, people feel Taiwanese, but not Chinese, but they are hardly able to stop this pro-Chinese quest which will soon put them under jurisdiction of Peking. Reason is, the big "Southern" Taiwanese-independence movement (a movement which wants to PRESERVE the already existing independence of Taiwan) had a front-runner independence hero, former lawyer Chen Shui-Bian, who became Taiwan's president 2000-2008. Unfortunately he was extremely corrupt and is in jail in Taiwan now. So he kind of killed the independence movement and had even pro-independence voters vote for pro-Chinese Ma in the 2008 presidential election.

Chen likes to call himself "the son of Taiwan", but in this case, the son has stabbed the mother.
Taiwan would really need a vital opposition now with president Ma running towards Peking at incredible speed, but corrupt Chen has practically disabled his old party which advocates independence.

So the island will soon be part of the People's Republic, no doubt about that. Originally I thought Taiwan might achieve a "improved Hong Kong status", but with Ma's fast pace towards union with China this seems out of the question.

He behaves towards Peking like a habour whore all dressed up for the Friday night battle with the sailors who are waving their money in front of her face. If you excuse the emotional closing.

Further reading: China slowly sneaking in

Mittwoch, Mai 20, 2009

Being a foreigner in Taiwan ... and Germany

Reading my last complain about being called a “longnose” in Taiwan (LINK) may make Taiwan seem like a country which treats its visitors unfriendly. Moreover, it may seem as if things in my own country, Germany, would be always perfect, while they are not in Taiwan. This is incorrect and so I like to compare being a foreigner in Germany vs. being one in Taiwan a bit. Of course, being a native German, I can only guess from reactions from my wife, who is Taiwanese, and what I have heard from other foreigners in Germany, what it is like.

So in Taiwan you may be laughed at; fun at your expense. Longnose, you are fat, your belly is so big, “do you only drink coke and eat burgers?” But all this while also being told “you look like Tom Cruise” and “you are handsome”. Not too bad when you sum it up.

In Germany however, things are entirely different. Even looking substantially different from the average German, you will receive a standard treatment from almost all people. Meaning, they are used to foreign looking people around and it is general consent that people should be treated equally and are not to be made uncomfortable or given an outsider feeling. If you are dark skinned or Asian, some people might give you a second look but will quickly turn their eyes anywhere else when you notice it; you have your right of privacy and being treated equally.


Germany can suck as well. But the Gummibaerchen are really good...

However, there are some people who actually are prejudiced, but they will pretend not to be and show normal behaviour, because having racial prejudice is not commonly accepted and kind of out-ruled by society.

There are however subtle or suddenly happening strange things. Like me and my wife getting the “Ah, bought a Thailand wife from catalogue” line when walking on the street or a dark skinned US-American girl feeling uncomfortable near the train station because men approach her and think a very foreign looking girl (by German standards) near a train station must be prostitute or whatever. People will also complain if foreign spices (smell in the stair case of the house) or noise bothers them and will be more sensitive to the foreign family doing things than to a German family.


In Taiwan, stares of ladies strangely never bother me. Hey, what you looking at over there... I am HERE, god damn it! (company party in 2006)

And of course, besides such little prejudices, there is the big hatred which some (often low IQ) people have against foreigners. Looking at crime statistics, it is most dangerous for an African-looking man to walk the streets of Eastern Germany (the part which was a communist state before the reunion of Germany in 1990). I remember reading about a Japanese University guest professor being beaten up on the streets of (the city of) Dresden just for looking different. Africans had been killed in Germany just when walking the park – I remember incidents in East Germany. In both parts of Germany Turkish immigrants had been killed by mob burning down their house.

Summarizing it, prejudice in Germany is also existing, but usually hidden. And there is definitely racial hatred among some few West Germans and a few more East Germans. And that hatred might sneak up on a foreigner who is just enjoying a walk in a park or sitting in front of his TV set at home. This type of hatred can easily be deadly and is something totally different than Taiwan’s attitude of bothering the “funny longnose”.

This doesn’t mean there is no hatred against dark skinned people in Taiwan. But getting yourself beaten up or even killed because you are a foreigner is quite impossible in Taiwan***. In Germany, all it takes might be a walk in a Dresden park.


*** I have to exclude the night club and pub scene in Taiwan. There are incidents like white guy talks to girl in disco and then getting a bottle over his head by the locals. Or a big story of an African American getting attacked by a large cloud of locals (seemingly some gangster gang associated with the disco). Reported on Forumosa.com and it is never really possible to verify all reports, but they seem likely to me. But I am a married guy and don't walk the bars, so this does not bother me. Alcohol and the Chinese way of hiding feelings all your life (alcohols lets them out) seems to be the key issue here.

Dienstag, Mai 19, 2009

"Longnose", "foreign chieftain", other sweet terms

I am sure Taiwanese people would not love to be called a "chink" or "yellow skin" or whatever else in Western countries. In German, we have the term "Schlitzauge", meaning "slit eye", a racist and prejudiced term for Asian people. Using it is an insult and can lead to a heavy fine.


Asian people don't have long noses, but a good sense of making the most of small spaces (photo Ludigel - although that was Korea)

However in Taiwan, the Taipei Times (LINK to article) discussed today if the Taiwanese (not Mandarin-Chinese!) term "Adoah", being used for Western foreigners, would be an insult or not. Taiwan people believe this term would mean "long nose" as it most likely comes from a Japanese or ancient Taiwanese word for a ... long nose, however no-one can scientifically prove what it means. But I guess it is important what people actually think it means, when they use it, and that is "longnose". My wife has trained two of our little nephews to dance around me and call me "Adoah", a longnose, and make a hand guesture indicating a long nose. While it is somewhat cute to watch them, I never got used to all my little nephews laugh about the funny foreigner, but unfortuantely that seems to be quite common in Taiwan and people don't get why they shouldn't call one of those bloody longnoses a longnose. You call an apple an apple, right?

The Taipei Times does not want to draw a conclusion and instead ends with the moronic statement "The jury is still out on whether the word adoah serves a useful purpose today or not. The real judges will be the Taiwanese themselves." Well, yeah, I guess.

Taipei Times asserts in this article, the term "laowai" would be totally normal however. Note, laowai actually means "boss from outside/foreign country" or "respected person from outside", but always has a comical subtone when being used. It is quite similar to the way German people sometimes call an exotic foreigner a "foreign chieftain" (Auslaenderhaeuptling), even this term is viewed racist and degratory, so hardly anyone uses it.

BTW, there is an upside-down version of "laowai" which becomes "wailao" and only relates to blue collar workers from East Asian countries.
The correct Mandarin Chinese term for a foreigner would be "waiguoren", meaning "person from foreign country/outside".

So I guess we longnoses have to live with the shortnoses call us longnoses and chieftains and whatever else. They don't mean it badly, those cute little Taiwanese who are running around foreigners giggling to themselves. Better than people back home who hate foreigners. They would rather beat you up - so I clearly prefer the giggling of the Taiwanese here.

The Taipei Times article has a quote from a Taiwanese person living in the US being asked if they call the Americans "Adoah". The persons says, "no, there are so many of them, we call them laowai instead".

Well, yeah, too many chieftains (laowai) and not enough Indians I guess...

EDIT: And yes, people are friendly here and it is easy to feel welcomed. Just, if you are here long time, this name calling by your little nephews really gets a bit ... annoying. Though they are kind of cute doing it. They make the long nose gesture on the top of heir heads somewhere because they don't get it's about the nose. So there is light at the end of the tunnel :-)


formosa blog: blog.teichert-online.de

other pages:
homepage: teichert-online.de
tech blog: techblog.teichert-online.de
blog overview in categories: globalforeigner.com
taiwan stray dog rescue: stray-dogs.org

China slowly sneaking in...

ENGLISH: (German below, Deutsch unten!)

Let's hope this is just a story made up by the (non-China-friendly) opposition: LINK

The story from the Taipei times asserts, the Taiwan government would prepare to have mainland China policemen (so, police officers from the People's Republic of China) being stationed in Taiwan.'


The Orks are coming! (photo from company server, but not so cute this time)


Oh, great times ahead. Our pro-Chinese president Ma already made an economic union with China and next step will be "political talks". Well, I really hope this isn't true, I really really would not want to live in a country where I have to deal with Mainland China police.

And I have an allergy. You know, once they put these electrodes on me I get a skin irritation and tingle there.

That song starts playing in my head again "Hit the road, Jack...."
With the People's Police and the People's liberation army (I guess that might be next) coming, I guess it's time for a farewell party for our little Taiwan democracy.

Was fun with you. Will miss you. Sort of.

[Right now this might be a scare of the opposition and not true. But I guess it will only be a couple of years to become reality]

Further reading: recommended read on China and Taiwan


German, Deutsch:

Scheinbar plant die chinafreundliche Regierung Taiwans, chinesische Polizisten in Taiwan zu stationieren, sicher der Anfang vom Ende der Demokratie. Statt meinen eigenen schon resignatorischen Beitrag mühevoll zu übersetzen, lest einfach DIESEN HIER, von Klaus, einem hamburger Journalisten, der Taiwan gut kennt.

Montag, Mai 18, 2009

Hi, I am Bob from Oregon

At least I must be from Oregon or better yet, Texas or New York, because I am white. Although I think I am not really white but rather piggy-pink. But being white makes you American in Taiwanese eyes. There are quite a lot of people who know that other countries of white people are nations as well, but they assume they are like the US, only have a different name. And of course, we all speak English. Most Taiwanese are always very surprised when they learn people would not speak English in a foreign country. A few days ago I was asked, after confirming the daily language in my country Germany would be German, not English, if we Germans wouldn't be arrogant not to speak English.
I answered with "Well, no, Taiwanese speak... Chinese, French speak French and Spanish speak Spanish."


Don't get upset! (sign in a school in Taipei, on the toilet)


I guess this attitude comes from the old classical Chinese (and Taiwan is an offshoot of China) way of thinking as itself as the "middle country" (that's what the word "China" in Chinese actually means) with a few barbaric nations around it. There is "we Taiwanese/Chinese" and then "those foreigners". Thus it is not uncommon to be asked questions like:

"We in Taiwan think family is very important. What do foreigners think about it?"
Note, the person asking this question wants to hear "family is not so important to us foreigners, we abandon our parents when they are sick" and stuff like that. I have to admit family sense in Taiwan might be stronger than in most part of the world, however, comparing the little island of Taiwan against the rest of the world in a question and while doing that, assuming the rest of the world is everywhere the same, is a very strange concept.

In such a conversation, you will most likely hear something about 5000 years of culture "we have" where "we" means "Taiwan". This is a very funny statement, as Taiwan's present culture is a mix of ancient Chinese culture (hence the 5000 years) and Western influence and Republican ideas of the Kuomintang movement of the late 19th century. Thus, what is Taiwan's culture today is about 60 years old; originates from 1949 when Chian Kai Shek fled to the island of Taiwan running away from the communists in China.
If you ignore this little gap in culture, you can also ignore all European culture shifts and then Germany could at least claim the history of the Roman Empire for itself!

So no more time, have to eat my burger now and flush it down with a coke. That's all we ever eat. We Americans.

Kurznotiz

Kurznotiz: Höre auf "Hit the road, Jack" vor dich hin zu singen (Resultat meines letzten Taiwankollers). Meine Frau war diese Woche schon wieder beim Friseur und hat da Stunden zugebracht. Und den Tag drauf schon wieder da.

P.S.: hmmm... andererseits, mal gucken wie sie am Ende aussieht (grinsegrins)

Freitag, Mai 15, 2009

business as usual in our dog shelter

We at stray-dogs.org, a Taiwan street dog rescue organization, are not really an organization, but rather an assembly of privateers who care for dogs. One of our members has a dog shelter, some other members have their dogs their and financing it is surely a problem for the owner.


Running around with the dogs, faster than the camera can catch

Nevertheless she has created some kind of dog heaven, where the dogs are living self-ruled without cages. Just two shots here from the weekend. I am not writing often about it, but a lot is going on there. I am glad we (or rather the lady in question) provides such a good place for at least some of Taiwan's countless street dogs.

Nap time. Our Husky is just visiting the place. Face of one of our members obscured as caring or street dogs in not popular in Taiwan

There are some more dogs in the shelter than those in the photo.

Donnerstag, Mai 14, 2009

Shoe fetish day at the Taiwan blog!

OK, I was cheating you. This is not about the Taiwan girls and their appreciation for high heel shoes...

This blog article is absolutely not about that....


So stop thinking about pics like these....

or these...


.... hey.... stopp it, you make me all nervous!



This article is simply about MY new shoes (he he he)...


... because I have to tell the world how truely amazing these shoes of brand "ASO" truely are. Their regular price is 4000 Taiwandollars or so, which would be 100 Euro, but if you buy three pairs you get them for 360 Taiwandollars in a special offer, that's less than 10 Euro. They are made in Taiwan and truely amazing. I had brought a whole load of cheap German shoes to Taiwan as I normally don't get my size 11 (or a broad 10) here (that's 45 or 46 in German shoe size), but if you order such boats a few weeks in advance you can get them here in Taiwan at ASO outlets. As my two dogs are pulling the leash like maniacs my right heel is huring and so I could not use the cheap shoes from home anymore. Taiwan now makes it possible to have some real expensive shoes, literally by the dozend (I am going to buy lots) and walking on their 5-layer foot bed is a dream. I never want other shoes anymore, ASO forever. ASO is one of Taiwan's two noble brands regarding shoes, the other one is LA NEW (funny name, I know).

MADE IN TAIWAN nowadays stands for quality, got that? And the very-well-made-in-Taiwan ladies on the pics above (all but the orange skirts are by me, the skirts are from old days company server again) could use the new size 11 shoes I have ordered as life boats for the next Taifun rain...


formosa blog: blog.teichert-online.de

other pages:
homepage: teichert-online.de
tech blog: techblog.teichert-online.de
blog overview in categories: globalforeigner.com
taiwan stray dog rescue: stray-dogs.org

Mittwoch, Mai 13, 2009

Snake in toilet bowl


Unspeakable horror lurks on Taiwan's toilets, and I am not talking the "The empty vessel makes the loudest sound" sign here at the door. Be grateful I didn't show the OPEN bucket in the photo...

ENGLISH: Urban legend coming true, a snake lurked in the toilet bowl in Taiwan, biting the ... you know what ... my goodness, I'll eye that bowl very suspiciously from now on... LINK

GERMAN, DEUTSCH: Dieser englische Link verweist auf eine Pressemeldung, nach der eine Schlange in einer taiwanesischen Toilette einen Herrn in die privaten Teile gebissen hat. Grusel. Weiterer Toilettenschreck in Taiwan, die Eimer neben den Klos sind eigentlich schon schlimm genug.

Dienstag, Mai 12, 2009

Death toll of traffic in Taiwan and Germany / Verkehrstote in Taiwan vs. Deutschland


Captain Wong is caught in a spatial anomaly. Warp engines offline! (photo Ludigel)

German below, Deutsch unten!

ENGLISH:
While the people of Taiwan somehow all seem to agree they are damned good drivers (you get the "if you can drive in Taiwan you can drive everywhere in the world line often) I somehow doubted that. I rather compare the average Taiwan car driver with a suicidal drunk guy wearing a blindfold actually and having a sociopathic personality disorder. Well, here is the statistic, on as bad as I thought I have to admit...

Germany: 4970 deaths in traffic in 2007, with a population of 80 millions that results in 62,1 deaths per million inhabitants. Mind the comma.

Taiwan: 2573 deaths in traffic in 2007, with a population of 23 Millions that gives 111,9 deaths per million inhabitants.

Thus Taiwan is "leading" with about 112 deaths compared to 62 deaths in Germany. And traffic is much more funny here, I have to admit that.

Source for German statistics (German): FOCUS
...and for Taiwan: official figures



GERMAN, Deutsch: Ha! Triumpf! Seit 5 Jahren höre ich von meiner Frau, dass die Taiwanesen die besten Autofahrer der Welt sind, weil sie zwar wild und rücksichtslos und ohne zu gucken durch die Gegend brettern, aber eben viel cleverer sind als wir Ausländer. Klar. Nun, die Statistik, die ich mühevoll gefunden habe, sagt folgendes:

Deutschland: 4970 Verkehrstote 2007, bei 80 Millionen Einwohner macht das also 62,1 Tote pro Million Einwohner. Kommastelle beachten.

Taiwan: 2573 Verkehrstote 2007, bei 23 Millionen Einwohner macht das also 111,9 Tote pro Million Einwohner.

Taiwan führt also mit knapp 112 zu etwa 62 Toten in Deutschland, liegt klar in Führung, würde meine Frau jetzt sagen (hust). Und unterhaltsamer ist der Vekehr hier alle mal.

Quelle für Deutschland: FOCUS
Quelle für Taiwan: amtl. Statistik

Montag, Mai 11, 2009

Finanzkrise, Schweinegrippe, Vogelgrippe, Springtripper...

Nehme die Welt bitte zur Kenntnis, ich mache bei diesen ganzen Modetrends nicht mit. Regt euch künstlich auf mit eurer George Bush-Nachgeschmack-Finanzkrise, bibbert beim Anblick von Türklinken wegen Schweinegrippe oder duckt euch vorm Springtripper auf öffentlichen Toiletten (George-Michael-Syndrom), ich jedenfalls mache bei diesen ganzen Modetrends nicht mit. Terrorangst hatten wir auch zwischendurch, mir ist das alles schnurz geworden. Letztlich dient alles nur dazu, dass die Medien ihre letzten Postillen verkaufen und Einschaltquote kriegen.
Alles barer Unsinn.

Ludigel
(ätsch-bätsch!)

P.S.: und hütet euch vor Toilettenschüsseln, da ist manch einer schon mit dem Kopf drin stecken geblieben und ertrunken.... (wie ein guter Freund einmal angemerkt hat)...

Donnerstag, Mai 07, 2009

Taiwan's economy has been hit hard

Taiwan's economy is racing downwards, take a look at the graph HERE in the economist.
Reason is, Taiwan basically exports computers and electronic gadgets and that's exactly what people don't buy right now. Even companies discover their 2005 PCs and severs still work. Especially if they keep on using XP for the PCs and Notebooks and use Linux for the servers.

Some predict a great and long depression for Taiwan and not just a recession, see HERE.

So, quickly buy that new Notebook with Vista and 4 GB RAM and a 250 GB HDD, come on, Taiwan needs you!

UPDATE: only kidding.

Montag, Mai 04, 2009

Und dann war da noch...

Und dann war da noch der Kerl, der die Götter (gibt ja genug davon hier) anrief, ob er denn nach 5 Jahren nun langsam wieder nach Hause soll.

[Stimme auf dem Off] Hit the road, Jack

OK, danke für die klare Antwort.

Hit the road Jack, and don't you come back no more...

OK, soweit klar, danke Leute

Hit the road Jack, and don't you come back no more no more no more no more.... Hit the road Jack

OK, Schluß jetzt, finito, habe verstanden...

Hit the road Jack....

Oh nein, aufhören.... nicht wieder Ray Charles***....

Weiß irgendjemand, wie man so eine Melodie wieder aus dem Kopf kriegt?


*** mittlerweise konnte ich auf Jerry Lee Lewis umschalten, gottseidank!
Hit the road Jack...

Mittwoch, April 29, 2009

Hübsches Kind (German Poem)

Der bekannte deutsche Dichter "AEP" hat mit dieser Lyrik der Annäherung der Geschlechter ein romantisches Denkmal gesetzt.


Hübsches Kind

Adolf E. Pankraz


Oh wie fühl ich mich wohl und frei,

Klar ist der Kopf wie vor dem Kater,

Ohne Ballast und Gefühlseinerlei,

Ganz ohne das Liebestheater.


Oh nein, oh holde Maid,

Wie du da trippelst einher,

Wechsele nicht auf meine Straßenseit’,

Sonst verlieb ich mich wieder zu sehr.


Sehe ich wie dein Hintern wackelt,

Und wie die Brüste wippen,

Komm ich am Ende noch angedackelt,

Dir auf die Schulter zu tippen.


Dann wird mir wieder der Kopf ganz dumpf,

Sehe Engel und höre Geigen,

Mir zittert und schwitzt der ganze Rumpf,

Vom Kopfschmerz ganz zu schweigen.


Drum versteck ich mich vor der hohen Hacken Geklapper,

Werf’ keinen Blick auf die netzbestrumpfte Wade,

Nehm’ den Flachmann und trinke ganz wacker,

Sind sich doch Frauen für einen Trinker zu schade.


So hab’ ich Schnaps und meine Ruh,

Die schöne Frau, sie klappert naserümpfend weiter,

Geheiratet wär' sie eh nur eine dumme Kuh,

Und nächstes Jahr wär’ ihr Hintern noch breiter.



(Foto: Ludigel)



Weitere Juwelen von AEP:



A new robot in town...


homepage teichert-online.de( ) , Formosablog(X), Techblog( ), Street dog rescue( )




iRobot "Roomba", 2nd gen in our house

We all know about the dangers of robots. The final episode of Battlestar Galactica contained the warning that our toying around with cute dancing robots will ultimately lead to blond big-bosomed artificial girls and cute Asian girls (called "Boomer") [yeah OK, so where's the problem?]..... eventually destroying humankind [well, they are women, aren't they?]; and after watching my weekly episode of Terminator:The Sarah Connor Chronicles I am pretty scared of artificial intelligence finally taking over the military and nuking humankind. However, I still like my little robots at home; I am thinking to name the blue one Boomer and the red one "Six" (isn't the Cylon girl called Six always wearing red dresses?).

However, like always with women, things are not hassle-free. They don't always clean when they are supposed to [that's a joke, actually HE did the cleaning at home before his wife allowed him to buy the robots], they want an occasional massage to work and might sometimes refuse to provide any services alltogether [that explains the missing buttons on your shirt].


Our old iRobot Roomba Discovery in happier days

Reason for the new iRobot Roomba appearing is the fact that the old one, which we acquired in May 2007, has finally given up. Or, to put it differently, it refused working once again, making noises as if some kind of power transmission belt is broken inside and stopped cleaning, so we decided not to bring it a 3rd time into the repair shop, it broke down in March and thus did not quite get to be 2 years old.
In 2007, iRobot Roomba Discovery had a German store price of around 750 Euro and the Taiwan price was similar, we finally bought a grey import from the US for half price those days. However, that gave us trouble finding a repair shop. So if the thing keeps breaking down convincing repair guys to repair it becomes a real hassle and we finally gave up on the old (white and grey) one. It had the following defects:


The charging station on which old and new Roomba can auto-dock. But don't let it charge all week!

- charging board (it's inside the robot!) fried, because we followed the instruction manual and kept it 24h/7 days a week on the charging station. A bad idea...

- it attempted suicide by falling down the stairs when cleaning. It has a sensor to stop at the stairs, but it breaked too sudden and kind of jumped a bit in the air with it's tail and then fell down the stairs, when it was about a year old. It still worked but started only after making some ugly noises.
Finally, when I let it drop only from 20 cm height, because I carried it on it's rear at his dust compartment with only 1 hand (always use two hands when carrying the robot!) it didn't work anymore. The repair guy said it's totally worn out.

- A few month after fixing it, I let it drop again, this time only from 2 cm height (yes, I tried to carry it on it's rear again) and it broke down. We had it fixed.

- In March it made mechanical problems for no reason, see above


The new (cheaper) model came without a charging station, but it just docks automatically on the charging station of the old one!

Note: The new iRobot Roomba Discovery and the basic model both were below 200 Euro this time in Taiwan; likely grey imports again. Basic model was 25 Euro cheaper.

Charging time for the more expensive "Discovery" model and the cheaper (red) basic model is significantly different if you plug in the power cord directly instead of using the charging station (in the pic we use the charging station). Discovery charges in 3 hrs when plugged directly to power, the basic model in 7 hrs!

Discovery comes with a charging station, the basic model not. However, if you buy (have) one, also the basic model can automatically detect and dock to it and will also charge in 3 hrs.

Battery life is 90 minutes for new batteries and 45 minutes or so for older ones. We now have 3 (one came with the new one) and while the new one has it's full capacity the 2 older ones have much less, but usually provide 45 min.


Note the battery in front. All parts are fully compatible between the old and new robot, no matter if Discovery model or not.


So we stripped the poor old robot of it's components and found we can still use it as a charging station for batteries, even with fast 3 hrs charging time. Note the back of the robot, which is not properly connected in the picture. This dust compartment easily comes loose with our old model (a bit worn out by use I guess).

Speaking of the (dirt) "Discovery" function. Actually, for our old Discovery model it hardly ever worked. When it works, a blue light will turn on an the machine will alter its course to take up dirt. However, I could never see dirt where the old model saw some and I only saw this function 3 times in 2 years, so just forget about it, it's not important.
Our new (red) basic model is not supposed to have a dirt discovery function, but it has one and it even works great! Probably the discovery function has been improved for the new model, but Marketing decided the basic model should not admit it has one. Don't ask me, it has, and it works. But don't sue me if your basic model doesn't provide it.


rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...... that's the sound


Another difference between old and new is the way it drives around. The old model seemed faster to me, but the high speed it had when it crashed to walls (it has a bumper in front) did not strike me as being too elegant. I like the more careful way the new red one is going around. Also, the new model seems to have improved software on board, it sometimes stopps before turning back when it has hit an obstacle, thats seems more clever to me. Again, 2nd gen has improvements.

Both models do fine on tiles, remember they are only vacuums, not floor sweepers.
The Discovery version came with two "virtual walls", those are electronic devices projecting a beam (invisible) which will make the robot stop. However, we stopped using these as they require frequent battery changes. We just put a chair on the floor, having it lie down, that's better.


This bro' rocks. Floor sweeper iRobot Scooba. Works and works for over 2 years now!


While I am not satisfied with our old Roomba for breaking down a bit often, I really like our Scooba model from the same company. It just works since 2 years now. In its second year it has developed a bit of a habbit: When you didn't use it for a long time, it will always say "check tank" and then you need to leave it open and let it dry for 45 minutes or so. Alternatively you may want to try shaking and emptying and refilling the tank. Taking a straw and blowing (or sucking?) air from/into the little strut between the tank (the upper part) and the base can also help, especially when it is a new model. In that case, some air is stuck somewhere. But no big deal, just leave it open a while when that happens.

Scooba is really good at washing the floor, however we had used 4 batteries so far, with No. 3 still having 45 minutes capacity and No. 4 having full 90 minutes still. No. 1 and 2 are retired, no chance to get them working again.

Some people complain Scooba would make a mess, like not sucking up the water again, which it uses for cleaning. In that case, and when it gets uneasy on its wheels, it just needs cleaning of the brush area. Take it out and hold it under water.

Scooba is a fine guy (he must be a male), working and working and I really hated to wash these white tiles of ours. Good chap.

Montag, April 27, 2009

Der ewige Lieferant

Ich stehe also vor dem Pseudo-FedEx-Heini, der mit dem Moped Pakete ausliefert.

"Sun" sage ich, spreche das auch nicht anders aus als die Nesen, ist ja der Name meiner Frau und er hält mir ein Paket unter die Nase, beschriftet natürlich mit nesischen Krähenfüßen und sagt "Chen Xiaojie", Fräulein Chen. Nein, sage ich, Sun, nicht Chen, auf Englisch, versteht er sogar, er konnte recht gut Englisch was selten ist.


homepage teichert-online.de( ) , Formosablog(X), Techblog( )

Taiwan street dog rescue ( )



"Wieder kriege ich das Chen-Paket hingehalten. Viele Familiennamen haben die hier nicht, die halbe Insel heißt Chen, aber ich wollte das Paket trotzdem nicht. "Suan" sage ich diesmal, denn den Familiennamen Sun sprechen sie manchmal wie die englische Sonne und manchmal richtig Chinessich als Suan aus, da überlagert die Englisch-Sprechweise schon ein bisschen die richtige Aussprache. Wieder sagt der Depp "Chen" und hält mir das falsche Paket hin.


Formose Insel Hihiwahn (Foto: Ludigel)

"Sun" sage ich "wie die verdammte Sonne da oben am Himmel" und zeige auf die selbige, das amerikanische f-Wort benutzend. "The fucking sun in the sky". Wieder sagt er "Yes, here it is" und gibt mir Chen. Ich gehe kopfschüttelnd weg und setze mich erstmal neben das Pförtnerhäuschen und überlege, wie ich nun meiner Frau erkläre, dass sie den falschen Familiennamen hat. Da kommt er mir hinterher gelaufen, hält mir ein neues Paket hin und sagt "Suan!" Aha! Gehirnzelle ist aktiv!

Er entschuldigt sich vielmals und sagt
"Ja, die chinesische Aussprache ist schwierig, da sind Sie durcheinander gekommen."
"Nein", entgegne ich genervt.
"Ja, Sun oder Suan oder Chen, das klingt für Sie so ähnlich", sagt er, ganz der weise Kinese mit 5000 Jahren Kultur, der dem dummen Ausländer was erklärt. Mühsam unterdrücke ich das Bedürfnis, ihm seine Stupsnase zu verformen und sage,
"Nein, die Leute hier kommen mit ihrer eigenen Sprache durcheinander, Suan oder Sun, das ist das selbe geworden".


Egal was im Leisefühlel steht, lächeln Sie niemals in Taiwan, sonst werden sie laufend angeledet. Ernsthaft, Hand aufs Herz, ist wahr (Seitenstlasse in Taipei, Foto: Ludigel).

"Ja, sagt er, "für euch Ausländer klingt das gleich, Chen oder Sun".
"Nein", sagte ich, "klingt überhaupt nicht gleich".
"Genau, klingt gleich," sagt er, verbeugt sich, "war schön sie kennengelernt zu haben."
Ich lächle auch, sage "schönen Tag noch" und gehe mit dem Paket zurück in die Firma.

Dabei kannten wir uns doch schon. Ihn und seine tausend Zwillingsbrüder, die alle gleich lächeln und das gleiche sagen, habe ich schon so oft gertroffen in Taiwan...

[Oh wie ich diese Dauergrinserei hasse]
Am besten noch ein hohes "hihihihi" dazu.

Lustig ist es die ersten 3 Jahre, danach wird dieses selbstgefällige Gehabe der Nesen etwas öde.
Der Leser mag sich trotzdem noch drüber amüsieren, grins [bitte jetzt alle "hihihihihi" sagen]

Surfverhalten in Deutschland muss sich ändern

Siehe auch meinen vorherigen Artikel (hier). Wie auch heise.de bestätigt (LINK) können die deutschen Pläne, eine Internetsperre für bestimmte Adressen (kinderpornographische) schnell eine Strafverfolgung inklusive Hausdurchsuchung nach sich ziehen, da das erscheinende Sperrschild gleichzeitig zu einer Übermittlung der (den Internetnutzer identifizierenden) IP-Adresse an Strafverfolgungsbehörden führen soll.
Nun denkt sich ein Leser, "Na, ja, die Dreckschweine, die sowas angucken, sollen ruhig überführt werden!" und recht hat er. Jedoch werden auch massenhaft Unschuldige verfolgt werden, siehe auch den Heise Artikel oben der das typische "Surfen", also das anklicken von unbekannten Webadressen, als Gefahr angibt.
Man stelle sich nur mal vor, ein Witzbold aus einem exotischen Land würde sie bei Google mit schön harmlosen Keywords (Tags) auf "seine" Internetseite locken. Aber seine Seite ist dann garkein Internetangebot, sondern einfach eine Weiterleitung auf ein kinderpornographisches Angebot? Schon gerät der harmlose Internetsurfer, der vielleicht nur ein vermeintliches Blog angeklickt hat, in die Liste verdächtiger Kinderpornokonsumenten. Wegklicken reicht nicht, die IP ist dann bereits übermittelt, wenn das Stopschild erscheint. Ein Witzbold aus dem Ausland kann dann Massen von Haudurchsuchungen in Deutschland auslösen, die den Betroffenen Ruf, Arbeitsplatz und vielleicht Ehe kosten, auch wenn anschließend das Strafverfahren eingestellt und die Seite irgendwann vom Netz genommen wird.

Sind Sie über Google hier gelandet oder haben sich an meine URL globalforeigner.com oder blog.teichert-online.de gewöhnt? Was, wenn Google sie in einem Jahr in so eine Falle locken würde oder meine Domain irgendwann abläuft und sie dann ein Witzbold wie oben genannt in die Falle lockt?

Deutsche Surfer dürfen, sowie das Gesetz in Kraft tritt, nur noch bekannte Internetadressen anwählen oder sollten ein Anonymisierungstool verwenden. Einfach so "surfen" ist dann passe, denn man weiß nie, wo man da landet und das BKA protokolliert mit.

Freitag, April 24, 2009

Jetzt reicht's mir mit der Krise...


auch barfuß kann man Spaß haben...

... andauernd wenn man in die deutsche Presse guckt heißte es Krise, heißa, Depression, soziale Unruhen, wir müssen alle sterben! Panik! Alles wird immer schlechter!

Es gibt keine Krise. Ignoriert den Mist einfach. Ich fliege demnächst Businessklasse nach Deutschland (dank der Krise zahle ich dafür irgendwie nicht viel mehr als für Economy, har har). Ich schlürfe Sekt und lasse es mir gutgehen (garnicht wahr... ist Chardonnay).


... immmer fröhlich und lächeln...

Und neulich habe ich irgendwo eine Studie gelesen, dass in der Krise nur die Leute gefeuert werden, die mit ängstlichem Blick in der Firma rumrennen und vor Angst zittern.
Wer hingegen gute Laune verbreitet, lacht, winkt und flauschig ist, verbreitet eine positive Aura. Und, na, mit welchem Mitarbeiter würden Sie die Krise durchstehen wollen? Otto Pank, der sich unterm Schreibtisch verkriecht oder dem netten adretten Kollegen, der lächelt und sich nix anmerken lässt und positive Stimmung verbreitet?


Halt! Da in der Mitte! Das ist zu viel!


Na eben. Also einfach immer winken, lachen und alles geht vorbei.

Wir treffen uns alle wieder nach der Krise Mittags um 12 im Dorfkrug.

Ludigel


[Du redest wieder ein Blech]
Halt die Klappe oder du wirst als Einsparungsmaßname abgeschafft. Wer kann sich heutzutage noch ein Gewissen leisten?
[gulp]

Fotos: Ludigel

Mittwoch, April 22, 2009

Sensational discovery: origin of "dirty Taiwan" revealed

German below, Deutsch unten!

English:
Taoyuan, Taiwan.
I was wondering frequently why Taiwan has so much rubbish flying around everywhere. When I am walking my dogs in some green areas I see some cars driving by, opening the doors and throwing their household garbage into the green fields. Police drives around occasionally and, guess what, they are critically eying me when I am walking my dogs. Yeah, yeah, guess I am a sight to see. Meanwhile, 200m behind, the silver Toyota drives off without his houshold garbage. The black and white police car doesn't follow him, rather they slowly follow every foodstep of me for a minute or so and then drive off into the night. They never eat donuts, shall I get into the donuts business? Good idea probably.

One time I took these photos of garbage mountains which suddendly appeared during two days close to a lake where I used to walk the dogs:




and somewhere else lots of tiny bits of garbage:

Probably a severe case of athlete's foot.

And somewhere else, another lake where I used to walk, lots of decaying trucks (LINK).

I thought "where does this come from?". We all know about Asian wisdom, living in harmony with nature and ying and yang (I think they work in purchase department in my company) and feng shui, buildings have to have the right direction towards magical lines to be in harmony with nature, so why the hell do the Taiwanese turn their country (at least the Nothern part where I live) into one great garbage dump?

Well, last night I found the answer, when looking at my little nephew's English textbook here in Taiwan:


Well, mission accomplished. Nothing further to be said.


[hey, you must nag about Taiwan again right, can't you post anything else than your usual drivel...? Always nagging about the garbage?]

Wait a moment, I only nag about trash hills above 1m size.

Note: text in italic characters is input from this blog's CONSCIENCE and does not necessarily reflect the viewpoint of the editorial office


German, Deutsch:

Bild ansehen. Sagt alles.

Leseempfehlung:
http://taiwanfocus.blogspot.com/
Informatives deutsches Blog.

NEU: Blog ab sofort mit Gewissen / NEW: Blog has conscience

GERMAN (English below):

SENSATION:
Dieses Blog ist ab sofort das erste mit GEWISSEN. Einträge vom GEWISSEN sind ab sofort in Kursivschrift zu erkennen. Keine sinnlosen Hetzereien mehr gegen Taiwan oder Andersdenkende, oder jedenfalls nur noch mit Kommentar vom GEWISSEN.

Anfänglich wird für Sie, lieber Leser, liebe Leserin, das GEWISSEN ungewohnt sein, doch glauben sie mir, man gewöhnt sich schnell an ein GEWISSEN. Und wenn es Ihnen gefällt, empfehlen Sie es doch Ihren Freunden und Bekannten.

DANKE

ja blablabla, der selbe Müll wie vorher nur jetzt mit Gewissen. Wer soll dir das abkaufen?

Sehen Sie, es funktioniert.



ENGLISH:

NEW, from now on this blog has a CONSCIENCE. Input from the CONSCIENCE can be easily recognized: it is in italic characters. Wish it would be always that easy in life? Don't worry, you will quickly get used to a CONSCIENCE, once you used it for a while you don't want to miss it anymore.

yeah, keep talking, retard. Same drivel but now with conscience. Nonsense.

See, it works!

Dienstag, April 21, 2009

Recommended read: On Taiwan and China

Recommended read, not so rhetorically-laden as most articles are on the Taiwan/China issue, including those in my blog.

http://www.athanadams.blogspot.com/


Further reading: President handed over the country, and now...

The empire strikes back: poisoning Taiwanese with bitter chocolate

There is one thing I hate about Taiwan (well, actually there is a whole catalog, but let's ignore that for now) and that is Taiwan's shops practically only offering some middle quality chocolate bars like Snickers or Twix and besides that only bitter chocolate and nut chocolate; most of the times at least. They manage to import a whole shelf of Ritter Sport chocolate, I get my mouth watering at the sheer sight of it and then .... only nut nut nuts... I go... you picture it, nuts about it.

Oh how I enjoyed feeding this to my colleagues (evil laughter, spotlight from below)

Taiwanese don't like sweet chocolate, so when you bring them any chocolate as a present they hold it in their hands, look at it with this superior 5000 year culture view and respond "ah sweet chocolate.... it's sweet, right?". I regularly have to stop myself from taking the chocolate back and advising them to bite into the desk, as it is not sweet. Yes holy frakking mystery of the universe, chocolate is sweet, who would have guessed?

But now I had my revenge. We found some 99% Lindt chocolate in our fridge. Without being a trained and certified 99% chocolate conoisseur, you will bite of a big part and then it taste like ... like that stuff you use to glue the windows in place, salty and earhy (yes, I tasted it once by accident I guess). So we passed it freely to colleagues, their eyes got this 5000-years-oh-yeah-we-ChineseTaiwanese-or-whatever-we-are-only-eat-bitter-chocolate look again, they put it in their mouths preparing for sheer lust to kick in and then.... their eyes came bulging out, one even gasped and asked "do you have sugar?"

This was my ultimate triumphe, thank you Lindt for making this possible.

I enjoyed the rest of the chocolate, bitten off in small lumps with a bit of black tea. Hmmmmm...

[evil giggle]


yours,

Ludigel,
Marquis de Schoko-sade