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Dienstag, Juni 29, 2010

Learning how to drive in Taiwan

This is in ENGLISH. German is at the bottom of the page - Deutsch unten!

From the foreigner version of the "learn how to drive" material here in Taiwan (English is unchanged):

15. If drivers wish to uphold national honor, promote social state ability and family happiness, they should(1)have driving morals and obey the law(2)have good driving skill(3)not drink or smoke. cs015

Well, would that be the national honor of Taiwan or China? Can't be sure these days with out pro-Chinese government talking about a "re"union with China. And how to I get to preserve the social welfare state by driving? Ah, never mind.

223.Do not leave the child who has problems with actions or under the age of(1)4 (2)5(3)6 years old, or you will be fined for $1,000 and take traffic safety training for 4 hours.  cs235

Wait a minute, how old is that kid? What was that in the middle part?

232.How to get back the car when the car was kept temporarily due to the drunk-driving test is over the standard?  (1) By the keeping receipt. (2) By the keeping receipt and car license. (3) By the keeping receipt, car license, and the receipt of the clarified penalty.  cs244 

Hey, slowly, slowly, how is a drunken bignose supposed to follow that? What do I need a bar license for? Sorry...

254.If a car is equipped  the gym instruments without safety examination, the car owner will be fined:  (1) 300 to 600NT Dollars. (2) 900 to 1,800NT Dollars. (3) 1,800 to 3,600NT Dollars.  cs266

Let that be a lesson to you, never pick up a chick who is into sports, or she puts her sports stuff in the back and you get fined.

265.If the car driver is found that snake driving on the road, he will be punished:  (1) a fine. (2) The roadway safety lecture (3) a fine, the roadway safety lecture, and his number plate will be detained for 3 months.  cs277 

Wait, if there is a snake on the road, then I get ..... what?

278.If you drive in the strong wind and the car is sharking at the same time, you should (1) hold steering wheel tightly, slow down the speed and avoid changing lane. (2) increase the speed. (3) ignore it.  cs290 

Listen, my car would never "shark". I mean it does not even bite people or make rude gestures. Trust me.

281.The identification of the “Visional Tunnel Effect” is that a driver has the visional mistake of the bright front sight but dark sight in the surrounding in drunk-driving.  Therefore, what will the driver’s vision become if the driver is drunk-driving?  (1) No visional change. (2) Vision becomes wide. (3) Vision becomes narrow.  cs293 

Oh come-on, Time Tunnel is long off the TV, how am I supposed to know such things?

282.When the small car is passing by the bigger car, the suction as the pump will suck out the air, the small car driver should:  (1) hold the steering wheel tight (2) release the steering wheel (3) do nothing.  cs294 

Now come on, you can't be serious. There is a bigger car coming, the guy sucks the air out of my tires and then I am just supposed to sit there? You're kidding, right?

999. My own English may have errors as well :-)

In the end I just gave up making a driving license here. I am still aloud to drive here.

Beim Autofahren mit rechter Hand die Familie glücklich machen!

German, Deutsch:

Oben Auszüge aus dem Lernmaterial für die theoretische Füherscheinprüfung in Taiwan (mache ich eh nie): Ich bin nicht im Mindesten in der Lage zu verstehen was mit Nr. 254 gemeint ist. "Wenn ein Auto ausgerüstet ist die Turngeräte (sic)" heißt es da, was offensichtlich verboten sein soll. Will man hier den Transport sperriger Turngeräte verbieten? Und warum sich nur auf diese beschränken? Vielleicht sind Anbauten an das Auto gemeint und der Übersetzer hat Spoiler etc. mit Turngeräte übersetzt. Man weiß es nicht.

Und der oberste Text erklärt, wenn man die nationale Ehre und den Sozialstaat oder etwas in der Art aufrecht erhalten wolle, solle man nicht Trinken und Rauchen und ordentlich fahren. Na, wer könnte da widerstehen. Man kann allerdings nur mit einer Hand Auto fahren, muss man doch die nationale Ehre mit der anderen hoch halten.

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