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Montag, Februar 08, 2010

If you are here, flee! Flee!


Photo: visually impaired color-blind Taiwanese in a drunken state shortly before cruising off with their Toyotas***

Chinese new year is starting on Friday. It essentially means people will be drunk, drive car (under the influence), are even more aggressive than they are usually in traffic, drunken dads hit their families, angry mums hit their kids, grandmas shout at their Philippine maids in the kitchen, Totyotas crash into pedestrians and then they say it was the brake problem, while stumbling over their blue sandals because they had a bottle of Heineken too much (means they had two, enough to get a Taiwanese male drunk). And fireworks, everyday, 24h for two weeks or so, only noise is important, not beauty. Shops are mostly closed, besides 7/11, restaurants have triple price and people are handing out red envelopes with 500 Taiwandollar inside to you and expect to get 5000 in return, especially if you are a longnose. Flee as long as you can, if you are still on the island of Formosa. Flee.......
[And yes, all people ever do at home is shouting at each other -they think that's a conversation- and watch TV, TV, TV, TV.... while spitting out bones on the table].
What a joyful time!

*** No, no, no this is from our company party which was BEFORE Chinese New Year. There are no festivals on the streets, streets are dangerous places with people losing control over their cars, honking at you and spitting out their betlenut through the window.

OK OK, it was getting colder and I my marathon cold, which I have since October, started again. So I was not in the best mood. Chinese New Year is not so bad. Well, at least if you are not here when it starts...

Kommentare:

"Ludigel" hat gesagt…

Es fängt an. Ständig knallt es und Toyotas fahren unstet mit 35... Und Staus, Staus.... Betrunken fahren ist scheinbar Vorschrift.

Anonym hat gesagt…

Das taiwanische Verkehrsministerium verlost einen fabrikneuen Toyota Prius ohne Bremsen an denjenigen, der in Taiwan über die Feiertage die schönsten Schlangenlinien fährt.
Momentaner Favorit ist Chen Peng Bung, der mit seinem blauen 1996er Toyota Corolla ohne Bremsleuchten (aber dafür mit Bremsen, bei den neuen Toyotas ist es umgekehrt) auf dem Expressway 66 zwischen "Longtan" und "No Si" beide Fahrspuren brauchte.
Hsien Hsu Blau mit seinem schwarzen Mercedes "Benze"(sic) 600 SEL mit blauen Leuchtdioden und einer Flasche Glenfiddich im Handschuhfach ist ihm aber dicht auf den Fersen.
Toyota-Chen hat sich jedoch bereits 5.66 Promille durch den Genuss von 6 Saporro Draft Beer zugelegt. Es wird ein spannendes Rennen diesmal.