First thing to do if they invent the time machine...

English:

First thing to do after they have invented the time machine? What would you do? Go and kill Hitler? Listen to an Elvis concert? Pretend you have invented the Diffie Hellman key exchange protocol all by yourself ... or asymmetric ciphers?
Go back to the 11th century and convince pope Sylvester he is not so ugly not to get a girl and thus he doesn't need to invent the celibacy (you know that rule where priests cannot get girls)?
Convince a middle age pope that paganism is a cool thing?***

Well, yeah, who wouldn't. However, what I would do is clearly.....



KICK CONFUCIUS' BIG FAT ASS


Because this bastard said "knifes are un-civilized" and so I have big sauce stains on my pants once again, because I tried to eat a big piece of meat with chop sticks. I mean, they don't cut it here like in the Chinese restaurant, so you are supposed to hold it up high in the air with the sticks and then chew on it like a dog.

Or you try to fabricate some holes in it, then tear it at the dotted line and ... get stains on your pants.

And I would kick him a second time for this insane traffic. Yeah, you said "friends and family are important" and your moronic listeners added the prefix "only". So you can kill everyone else in traffic. Great.

And another kick for this "keep face" nonsense, which means people swallow all objections and smile moronic all their life, until they are so upset that they explode at the smallest incident. Thanks, that makes life so much easier. Ever heard of the fine art of arguing skilfully, you damned ancient wannebe-philosopher? Oh and take this for your fake PR of Far Eastern wisdom and tranquility when actually the whole thing is a hotpot of stressed and ruede nervous people .... And this last kick for the scooters! The what? Ah... don't pretend you don't know... See... there's your mule... I guess you don't obey traffic laws when riding him, right?

.... never mind ....



*** or better yet, convince a 2000 y.o. Palestine market trickster this water-to-wine and heal-sicknesses scheme might have a big future...
[ah wait, someone has already done that]